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I keep finding myself stopped in my tracks. It’s usually a combination of my boys playing outside, doing everyday things like climbing, kicking balls or chasing each other, and stunning golden fall light shining on the vivid leaves. Sometimes it’s just the light. Or just the boys. I have to catch my breath as I wonder, will this be their last time swinging from that tree? Is this is the final time I’ll watch Harry a pitch a ball to Miles while I bake? I have loved our life here. It has been rich with simple moments of beauty.

I cry, I sigh, I swoon, I savor.

Reminders of all we treasured here will continue to fall in front of me until we leave. Autumn seems to be the perfect reminder of beauty in loss. My heart aches and rejoices. Home moves with us. New gifts await. But for now, we are here. In the middle, watching the leaves fall.

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Do not mistake your

swells of joy,

waves of tears

to loss of home.

They are celebrations

of life well-lived.

In one place.

For one season.

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